no donors for poor villar

president-elect noynoy reportedly received 440 million pesos worth of donations from moneyed family members and big businessmen while spending roughly 403 million in the campaign trail.

on the other hand, villar who came in third in the presidential contest filed an expenditure of 431.55 million without, take note "without", any help from donors.

granted that all this were true, then villar misled himself gunning for the top post if from the onset, based on number of contributors, nobody really wanted him to be chief executive except, of course, himself.

image manipilated from photo grabbed from here.

glee-less country

just came across this facebook shoutout: i'm more interested in glee's season finale than the proclamation of our new president.

now, ever wonder why there's no glee living in this country? hey you, try leaving.

image manipulated from photos grabbed from here and here.

silence of the veeps

the silence between the camps of top 2 vice-presidential contenders mar roxas and jojo binay is deafening. what's the deal?

image manipulated from photos grabbed from here and here.

binay is the new erap

what the??? it's raining binay jokes on fb!!!

binay joke no.1

binay joke no.2

noynoy & nognog

binay joke no.3

akala yata ng mga tao jejomar ang totoong pangalan ni mar roxas

binay joke no.4

binay: the first black vice president

funny, binay junked erap and got his fair share of poll-related jokes. erap must be jealous, not to mention furious.

president noy's top 10 must-hates

1. uncle peping. if there was one thing that he should have buried along with his mom, that would be his scheming uncle. right mar?

2. jojo binay. why trust someone who junked his own president. right, erap?

3. gma. she let him win, fine. but she still wants to be prime minister. so careful...

4. villar. he conceded, sure. but he still wants to be president. of the senate this time. again, careful...

5. chiz escudero. he should stay away from him. period.

6. kamag-anak, inc. they belong in family gatherings and family pictures. nowhere else.

7. balimbings. they just don't belong.

8. stylists, etc., etc. he doesn't really need them. all it takes is a lot of will power to institute change and some changes in the posture department.

9. cigarettes. obviously, he can't die now. and he can't allow his entourage to die from second-hand smoke either.

10. li'l sis krissy. oh, alright, only if she doesn't behave.

image grabbed from here.

revival of the fittest

you know what cynics say, one step forward, two steps back. in our case, it's usually three. or maybe four. even five.

take for example the recent poll results. the marcoses, questionable characters from the 70s and 80s, return with a bang (sorry to disappoint you sweetie, but this has nothing to do with a gun).

enrile was a senator during the skinny-jeans-slash-padded-shoulders era and here he is, still the same law-making honcho when the same tight jeans and big shoulders are already being retroed, my gawd!

erap's campaign posters use old photos of him back when he still looked like the hero in his old action movies and not like the real life drunken don that he is today because the past is romantic and the present is crap.

children of yesterday's powers that be win to death. noynoy aquino. tg guingona. bong revilla. jinggoy estrada. pia cayetano. the arroyos. the marcoses. the list goes on. and the dynasties live on.

yeah baby, everything—and everyone—is so back. so bring out the disco ball, the bell bottoms, the elevator shoes. it's time for boogie wonderland!

photo credits: bong bong marcos image grabbed from here and here. imee marcos from here and here. imelda marcos from here and here. juan ponce enrile here and here. joseph estrada here. dynasty dvd cover here. noynoy aquino here. pia cayetano here. gma here

gma in a jam

"payag ka bang basta na lamang kalimutan ang siyam na taong pang-uulol ni gloria at ng kanyang pamilya sa ating bansa? kung hindi, maki-JAM na. kalampagin natin ang bagong administrasyong aquino upang panagutin ang putang unanong ito." — jail arroyo movement

hate, hate, hate. facebook is on fire! and i looooove it!

congratulations: the new erap-tion

nag-concede na mga presidentiables kay noynoy, si erap ayaw pa kasi sabi ng pcos machine sa kanya "congratulations" kaya sure siya na panalo daw siya.*

*joke circulating via text mesage

image grabbed from here.

the comeback

well, well, well. look what our memory-challenged countrymen have brought us. bongbong marcos as senator. imelda marcos as congresswoman. imee marcos as governor. what's next, martial law?

image grabbed from here.

bye bye, krissy

"i made a promise to noy that if he wins, i will leave the country and work abroad." — kris aquino

so fb is once more abuzz. volunteerism is at work again. somebody proposed to take care of organization. another, the food. still another, the invites. and all kris has to do is show up and pay for the tab, of course.

kris aquino's despedida. all haters invited.

but then again, promises are made to be broken. so bear with her unbearable presence or, to quote krissy, "leave the country".

election givens

1. defeat of men like perlas and teodoro. pinoys are not ready for non-traditional players and non-traditional campaigns.

2. defeat of jamby madrigal. pinoys are not and will never be ready for her.

3. miriam defensor-santiago as senator for the nth time. no one wants boredom to rule the upper house, right?

4. action stars as senators. no wonder they don't do action movies anymore. they're more in demand at the senate where their inaction is valued and appreciated.

5. gma in the house! did you honestly, and i mean honestly, think she will lose?

election horrors

1. aquino-binay. "kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap" just doesn't sound right anymore.

2. pcos machines. suffrage is now short for suffer and rage. (go ask voters who lined up for hours under the scorching sun.)

3. pacman victory outside of the ring. doom for pacquiao-vs.-mayweather hopefuls.

4. erap at number 2. you mean if cory aquino did not die and her son did not run, the ex-con would be president of the republic of the philippines again?

lovers not fighters

filipinos are lovers not fighters and, most certainly, not haters. it's a shame, i know but how else would you explain erap's number 2 ranking at the polls? (yes, the same erap who was stripped of his presidential title for major league corruption.) or bongbong marcos's impressive showing at the senatorial race? (the bongbong marcos, son of the late dictator whose family was forced into exile for plunder and abuse of power.) ugh.

don't you think the world, the philippines in particular, will be better off if there were more haters, specifically those not suffering from short-term memory loss, in it?

forget 'em not

are we filipinos really going to let bongbong marcos win just like that?

***

are we going to forget his father's martial law just like that?

the human rights violations?

the abuses on freedoms?

the ill-gotten wealth?

the foreign debt?

***

alright, let's make this simpler...

are we going to forget his mother's 3,000 pairs of shoes?

again, just like that.

images grabbed from here, here and here.

the first noel

okay, let's put a dash to it so no one mistakes it for good ol' christmas. no-el. short for no-elections. a charmingly sweet nickname for an ugly, distasteful scenario.

fears of an impending no-el have been hounding us ever since mrs. president showed a barely concealed desire to live happily ever after like a fairy tale princess in a castle called malacañang.

and now, with so little time before the big day, the threat is even more real — counting machine glitches, refusal of the poll-ruling body to have a manual count fallback, feelers about a possible postponement to a later date. the alarm level must have gone up so badly the comelec suddenly had to issue a press release assuring the public that the polls are to proceed as scheduled.

no, no one wants a no-el. after all, there is no such thing as a merry no-el.

man vs. machines

upon testing, rp's first automated poll machines just confirmed what candidates and voters alike feared — the hapless machines had no inkling how to do what they were supposed to do in the first place, that is, to count.

in batangas, they were said to have read lp votes in favor of np; in las piñas, np votes for lp; and so on an so forth.

so it's not noynoy vs. villar after all. nor villar vs. erap. nor gibo vs. noynoy. nor jamby vs. herself.

it's all of them vs. the machines.

image manipulated from photos grabbed from here, here, here, here and here.

what to hate...

...in an estrada presidency

a return to erap jokes.

...in a gordon presidency

a blabbermouth in malacañang.

...in a villar presidency

another bad-looking first lady.

...in a gibo presidency

another extension of gma's term.

...in a noynoy presidency

kris. kris. and more kris.

...in a jamby presidency

jamby herself.

say cheap!

senator escudero is back from a 4-month hiatus after his childish display of displeasure when somebody moved his chiz, er cheese, and gave him a resounding slap that promptly woke him out of his presidential dreams. refreshed and raring to reclaim his wonderboy-of-blah-blah-politics title, he is now using the all-too-willing binay to thwart the vice-presidential bid of his 2016 rival mar roxas and kissing the sorry ass of 2010's sure bet noynoy aquino.

oh yes, he's back, but who cares?

image manipulated from photo grabbed from here.

flush gordon

the high and mighty dick gordon made some headlines, claiming that he is not at all surprised by his numbers at the surveys, especially only a few days after he sued 2 survey firms for reasons i would hate to dwell upon. well, i guess that's just his way of saying that he wouldn't be surprised if his numbers are the same come election day.

image grabbed from here.

checkmate

what hater will not soften a bit to a mother crying foul over all the dirt being thrown at her "poor son" unless that "poor son" happens to be manny villar. what, with the c-5 scandal and the pse exposé plus everything in between and now his poor mom being used in a last ditch effort to sway votes, mr. check is slowly but surely crossing himself out from a race he desperately wants to win.

images grabbed from here and here.