100 years of solitude: a memory test

is it just me or do you also keep coming back to this page—somewhere between 15 and 20 in one sitting—when reading gabriel garcia marquez's 100 years of solitude? my memory is so bad this could be the beginning of self-hate.

humorless toilet

three weeks of going around beijing made me discover an innate talent that could be very useful for anyone traveling in unfamiliar territories. okay, maybe it's more of a skill to be able to hold one's bladder for hours on end. but when you're in a country infamous for its potties then maybe you won't scoff at my little accomplishment. but as the corniest of corny clichés goes: i am only human. and so one day, luck—or lack of it—left me with no choice but to get acquainted with the ghastliest thing about china. the squat toilet.

verdict: top of the hate ladder.

image grabbed from here.

oh my jolli

how do i hate jollibee? let me count the ways... [1] the burger? don't like it. and don't ask why. [2] the spaghetti? too sweet, too kiddie-fied. [3] the fries? are those potatoes, really?! [4] the chickenjoy? starch is overwhelming so no joy there. i could go on and on but it looks like i'm not about to come up with something i love about the lovable jollibee.

but when i saw it on glee, i was... proud, yeah, proud. hurray to the bee for conquering l.a. and other parts of the globe. can't say the same about my taste buds though. sorry.

excuse me, did i just say sorry?

image grabbed from here and here.

shoo the shoes

thanks to the makers of the wildly popular uggs and the equally popular crocs, the world has become a doubly unsightly place where everything ugly comes in pairs.

images grabbed from here and here.

not all supermodels are super

...as proven by exactly the same outfit on the model on the left and the one on the right, the supposed supermodel naomi campbell.

image grabbed from here

kelly without grace

a mother toting a birkin, followed by daughter, walks into an hermes store. click! mother and daughter stand behind a kelly. click! daughter tries the kelly over one shoulder. click! mother pays for the kelly—in cold cash. click! mother and daughter pose in front of the store with purchase dangling from daughter's arm. click!

can anything be more nouveau riche than this?

image grabbed from here and here.

where's the magic?

now give yourself a shake ranging from mild to violent, depending on how fast or slow you uncover the magic.

image grabbed from here.

toilet humor

which would you prefer?

eat on a toilet?

or eat from a toilet?

modern toilet restaurant in taipei, taiwan. hilarious, yes. but still too shitty for my taste.

images grabbed from here and here.

whoever said age doesn't matter was lying

fashion rules are made to be broken. or our planet will be a trifle too boring. but breaking some of them can sometimes lead to disastrous results. like that particular rule about dressing one's age.

superstars can pull it off. think madge.

celebs—though not all of them—may not always be as lucky but will be forgiven all the same. say, kim cattrall.

but you cannot expect the same kind of treatment for ordinary mortals like well, your mom, perhaps? the world can be terribly unkind to the obscure individual so this semi-elderly or simply elderly person you may know runs the risk of being called a thousand words. from tacky to loud. from silly to ridiculous. from outlandish to garish. from unrefined to unsightly. from cheap to trashy. from pathetic to miserable. whew, i can sit in front of a thesaurus all day and never lack for ways to describe this, uhm, tragedy.

meanwhile, our offender could do herself a favor and add a new word to her vocabulary: class.

images grabbed from here, here and here.